Movie Review: The Love Guru

I have to say, I found it impossible to love "The Love Guru." The movie was very juvenile, unintelligent, and rather "punderful." I've got to say, I expected to be some like "You Don't Mess With the Zohan," a stupid movie, but the good kind. Unfortunately, I found out otherwise. Zohan at least had some intelligence in some of its jokes (courtesy of Judd Apatow), and it was so unbelievably zany that I could look past its stupidity. Unfortunately, "Love Guru" had none of the qualities. Usually I like Mike Myers movies, no matter how bad they were. But this... there was no way I could appreciate it.

PLOT
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The plot centers on the Guru Pitka (Mike Meyers), a Guru who specializes in helping people with troubled relationships and self-help, but despite his success, he is only considered the second best, following the Guru Chopka. He hopes to get a fame boost by helping out a trouble hockey star named Darren Roanoake (Romany Malco), whose wife is together with rival hockey star Jacques "la coq" Grande (Justin Timberlake) when he is hired by the Toronto Maple Leaves' owner Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba) and coach Punch Cherkov (Verne Troyer). As he tries to help Darren, he realizes that he is bettering himself because, as he puts it so blatantly "my greatest student became by greatest teacher... or some bullshit like that." It's basically like any self help movie: he tries to help someone, falls for a woman, does something wrong and tries to make ammends, which results in a victory for himself and the others that he tries to help. I don't mind if it had been done before... I just want it done well, and other movies have done it better, like "Analyze This."

COMEDY
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As I said, the humor is pretty stupid and juvenile, lacking ANY intelligence that would make these jokes funny. I will admit, some of the jokes made me chuckle, but that's about it. It was more based on the delivery rather than actual humor. Jim Gaffigan and Stephen Colbert were sportcasters, who delivered their lines perfectly, which actually got me to chuckle as often as I did. As for the humor itself, as stated, they were incredible juvenile. They were basically sex puns that you'd hear fellow high schoolers throw about each other. Others were jokes that were trying to get laughs through shock value (one of them almost succeeded too, getting me to scoff and chuckle in one run). So long story short... the humor is meant for the young and stupid... and I was surrounded by the young and stupid apparently.

OTHER NOTES
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I've got to say, this was truly the most disappointing movie I've seen since Epic Movie. It wasn't quite as bad (I LEFT Epic Movie), but it was close. If it wasn't for the intermittent chuckles it gave me, I WOULD have left. I was also disappointed by the wasted talent that was in this movie: Mike Meyers, Stephen Colbert, Jim Gaffigan, Romany Malco, etc. There was one truly redeemable thing about this movie: the music. Hearing sitar and guitar renditions of some of my favorite tunes such as "More Than Words" or "The Joker" was entertaining. I found myself singing along to them and smiling rather happily. All I can say is that you need to avoid this movie unless you like completely idiotic humor. If it wasn't for some decent delivery from some actors that gave me chuckles, and an outtake with Troyer that made me laugh (that's right, an outtake was the best part of the movie), I'd say the movie was one of the worst movies ever made... actually it probably is.

Score: 1.5/10